A Useful Guide For Interacting With Non-YoYo Players

It’s gonna happen. At some point, if you continue to yo-yo, you will feel compelled to bring your yo-yo outside the safe confines of your own home. Once out in the world, you may be tempted to remove your yo-yo from the secure environs of your inner pocket, even daring to PLAY with it out in the dusty, chaotic world. If this should come to pass, the chances of your being SEEN in the deft manipulation of your yo-yo are probably greater than 50% (unless you are in central Wyoming). At this point, you will have left yourself open to (indeed, INVITED) the questions, comments, and askance looks of the uninitiated non-yoyoing public.

Don’t worry though. Despite your well-considered assumptions, most of these people do NOT intend to do you harm (even psychologically). It’s important to try to put yourself in their tight, tragically boring shoes and see the world through the melancholic gray-brown lens through which they see it. To one already addicted to the tactile stimulation of morphing string-geometry, seeing a yo-yo being wielded out in the wild is familiar and exciting. But to the everyday bloke, a yo-yo is just an odd little toy, and an archaic one at that. It would be like seeing someone play with a titanium paddle-ball or a ball-in-cup toy made from rare, exquisite hardwood (wait that exists) out on the street-corner: curious, but somewhat incomprehensible. It’s kind of funny, because the same folks will literally not even notice someone COMPLETELY ENGROSSED in the virtual experience of their phone or video game system. Like Plato’s Cave, screens have become the way many of us experience the world, while interacting with actual, tangible objects has been relegated to the realm of anomaly.

So you can’t blame these folks for saying something. They’re generally going to make one of three assumptions when they first see you doing your thing:

1. This guy really wants attention, so I should give it to him
2. This guy really wants attention, so I should ignore him
3. This guy is doing something he finds enjoyable, and probably doesn’t need my input.

Suffice it to say, most people go with the first or second conclusion (and suffice it to say, they’re probably right as much as they’re wrong). When they proceed to evaluate what you’re doing qualitatively, they also tend to focus on one of three conclusions:

1. That looks cool. I can’t do that. That’s awesome.
2. That looks cool. I can’t do that. That sucks and I feel defensive about it.
3. That isn’t cool.

Again, MOST people gravitate toward the first two, because yo-yo tricks ARE cool (though not always as cool as we make them out to be), and seem utterly impossible and even magical to someone who hasn’t seen much of them. Now, pretty much everyone has seen a few yo-yo tricks (Walk the Dog, Around the World, Rock the Baby, etc.). Such was the iconic power of yo-yo marketing in the 50’s and 60’s that even a half-century later, those simple tricks remain part of our cultural lexicon. The people who choose to interact with the curious anomaly they see using the antique toy will search in their mind for these touchtones. It’s not weird. It’s not insulting. If you saw a guy doing tricks with a bullwhip, the first thing you’d think would be “Indiana Jones”. He might be sick to death of that comparison, having spent years trying to take his strange craft into new progressive territory, but can he BLAME you for making the comparison? Of course not.

Needless to say, only the people who decide that you want attention (consciously or otherwise) are going to engage you. HOW they engage you usually depends on how they feel about themselves more than your yo-yoing. People who feel content and secure will offer questions or comments like:

• “How long have you been doing that?”
• “How do you not get a bunch of knots?”
• “Wow, I could never do that.”

People who feel less secure but still want to interact tend to mainly want to hear themselves speak. That’s ok, too! These folks are instantly recognizable, and call to mind the Eleanor Roosevelt quote “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. As long as you keep your head, they can’t bother you too much. They’ll call stuff out like:

• “You must have a lot of free time.”
• “Do your hardest trick.”
• “Does that thing have a motor in it or something?”
• “Hey, WALK THE DOG!”

Anybody who’s played in public a bit will have heard all of those several times over. You don’t have to get ticked off about it. The Walk the Dog thing especially seems to irritate serious players, but that’s silly. We tend to think that just because we’ve progressed past Walk the Dog being impressive that everyone else has, too. Some people like to get around it by doing an arm grind or something, but I find people are more satisfied if you just walk that sucker. I understand your yo-yo’s are precious to you, but I feel that Walk the Dog is kind of part of the payment for being a yo-yo player. It draws people in and makes them feel happy at having called out the only trick they know and seeing it done. I don’t (usually) bring yo-yo’s that I care about keeping pristine out and about with me, but even when I do, I make it a point to do that trick when asked. It helps me stay grounded and helps me remember that how I interact with PEOPLE is more important than how I interact with yo-yo’s. Crazy, right?

If you’re playing in public, I think you’re taking on the responsibility of having compassion for the people with whom you might interact. If you’re going to be traveling on a crowded bus, it’s kind of jerky to not wear deodorant. You can’t just get mad at people who aren’t positively inspired by your wafting emanations. Similarly, if you play yo-yo in a public place, you can’t get all defensive because not every passerby thinks your take on Black Hops deserves its own reality show.

This deserves some thought and experimentation, but if you want the Cliff’s Notes version, here are some examples of responses that WILL and WON’T end with you seeming like a colossal tool-kit and ingraining a vehemently anti-yoyo mentality in a member of the general public:

BAD

Them: Heh, you must have A LOT OF FREE TIME.

You: *Rolls eyes and pretends to ignore.

Conclusion: That guy is way too uptight about playing with a yo-yo. Total dorknozzle.

GOOD

Them: Heh, you must have A LOT OF FREE TIME.

You: Not really. I don’t watch much TV, and playing helps me clear my head for other stuff I’ve got to do.

Conclusion: Not watching much TV is odd, but I like this guy. He looks cool and talked to me.

 

BAD

Them: Do your hardest trick.

You: *Without speaking you do some long, really complex combo.

Conclusion: I don’t understand. I feel alienated. I should say something pithy and derisive to deflect the fact that I’m out of my depth.

GOOD

Them: Do your hardest trick.

You: Man, there are a lot of hard tricks. This one is pretty tough. (*Do anything short involving a grind, body-trick, Gyroscopic Flop, or Boingy-Boing – yes, I know it’s not actually your hardest trick.)

Them: Dear, sweet lord in heaven, that was amaze-balls.

 

BAD

Them: I can’t even make it go up & down!

You: Not to be mean, but that’s because you suck.

Them: That was actually horribly mean.

GOOD

Them: I can’t even make it go up & down!

You: You’d be surprised how quick you’d learn. Here, have a sticker. It’s for a website called yoyoexpert.com. They’ve got a huge tutorial section that would have you doing stuff like this in no time.

Them: Cool, I’ll check it out! (HE GAVE ME A STICKER!!! IT’S SHINY!!!)

 

BAD

Them: Hey, WALK THE DOG.

You: Pssh.

Them: Pssssshhh. He can’t walk the dog. And he’s a turdblossom.

NOT GREAT

Them: Hey, WALK THE DOG.

You: I would, but this yo-yo costs $120, and I don’t want to mess up the Ash Berry colorway. But check out this ARM GRIND!!!

Them: That was moderately cool, but did he say $120? And WHAT kind of colorway?? So you’re too fancy to walk the dog with your special MOTORIZED SPACE YO-YO? He’s on the verge of turblossomhood.

GOOD

Them: Hey WALK THE DOG.

You: *Walk the Dog.

Them: Yesssssssssss!!! There is nothing even remotely turdblossomish about this dude.

BONUS ROUND: You whip out a cheap spare yo-yo you happen to have on you and offer to TEACH the guy how to do it. Then hand them a yoyonews.com sticker and tell them where they can learn more.

Them: Verily, I shall be your disciple until the End of Days. You are the YoYoGod, the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, and my one true Big Image. This is my sister, and you should totally go out with her.

That’s right folks…it’s just that easy!